Shall I shan't I?!

Two Life Saving Tips for the Female Stand up Paddle Boarder

       1.  Peeing on a Stand Up Paddle Board

Oh come on we all know you’ve thought about it ladies!!

Heading out for an early morning potential 2 hour paddle and she asks “What if I have to pee? Will I get out of the water?” The men have it made; they just stay on their board and can go off the side, us girls on the other hand have a bit of a predicament.

After my first incident, where I pulled over to the nearest beach nearly lost my board in the time it took me to find suitable cover, I thought maybe I was doing it wrong. After making polite enquiries as to what everyone else did a fellow boarder, mentioned that I should just pee on my board. The next day I had to go, so I just went. Unfortunately I didn’t realize that pee on your board didn’t mean pee in your pants. There I was, very uncomfortable as the warm became cold, a little gross, and my deck pad was also… pretty dam gross.  It wasn’t until the next day when I was paddling with said boarder and she stopped paddling, dropped her pants, and squatted on her board. She then rocked the rails to flush the board. I had a light bulb moment, and after a few trials I am a master of the art!

So I kindly passed this information on with an added tip  if you leave your bathing suit bottoms or underwear on while you squat down on your board, no one sees your booty, and you can move it to the side, your pants not your booty! You then replace all of the clothing, stand, and rock to flush the board. Easy as!   
 

      2.  Falling on your Board

There are times you’ll fall on your board and you may even take a rail to your undercarriage. Sometimes the board will smack you in the face. Sometimes when climbing back onto your board in turbulent seas you’ll take the board’s edge to that weird woman bone scientifically know as the mons pubus and be sore for 3 days. It’s bound to happen at some point, just be prepared. When you’re surfing, you can try learning more paddle braces to prevent falling altogether. After that, try to fall with your legs together. Good luck.

But seriously!

If your board comes up to smack you in the face, put your paddle out like Donatello in the Ninja Turtles (he was the one with a fighting stick!). When you’re under water, cover your head and keep your chin tucked into your chest and push up with your free arm until you’re sure the coast is clear. I’m sure you’ve heard all of these safety tips, but it doesn’t hurt to hear them again. However, eventually, you may still get smacked. It’s OK. Know when to use butterfly bandages and when to go get stitches. Paddle and surf with a buddy that knows when to tell you that you need stitches and won’t let you put a band-aid on something huge. Know the signs of concussion. Don’t forget, always surf with a buddy!