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| Shall I shan't I?! |
Two Life Saving Tips for the Female Stand up Paddle Boarder
1. Peeing on a Stand Up
Paddle Board
Oh come on we all know you’ve thought
about it ladies!!
Heading
out for an early morning potential 2 hour paddle and she asks “What if I have
to pee? Will I get out of the
water?” The men have it made; they just stay on their board and can go off the
side, us girls on the other hand have a bit of a predicament.
After
my first incident, where I pulled over to the nearest beach nearly lost my
board in the time it took me to find suitable cover, I thought maybe I was
doing it wrong. After making polite enquiries as to what everyone else did a
fellow boarder, mentioned that I should just pee on my board. The next day I
had to go, so I just went. Unfortunately I didn’t realize that pee on your
board didn’t mean pee in your pants. There I was, very uncomfortable as the
warm became cold, a little gross, and my deck pad was also… pretty dam gross.
It wasn’t until the next day when I was paddling with said boarder and she
stopped paddling, dropped her pants, and squatted on her board. She then rocked
the rails to flush the board. I had a light bulb moment, and after a few trials
I am a master of the art!
So
I kindly passed this information on with an added tip if you leave your bathing suit bottoms
or underwear on while you squat down on your board, no one sees your booty, and
you can move it to the side, your pants not your booty! You then replace all of
the clothing, stand, and rock to flush the board. Easy as!
2. Falling on your Board
There
are times you’ll fall on your board and you may even take a rail to your
undercarriage. Sometimes the board will smack you in the face. Sometimes when
climbing back onto your board in turbulent seas you’ll take the board’s edge to
that weird woman bone scientifically know as the mons pubus and be sore
for 3 days. It’s bound to happen at some point, just be prepared. When you’re
surfing, you can try learning more paddle braces to prevent falling altogether.
After that, try to fall with your legs together. Good luck.
But
seriously!
If
your board comes up to smack you in the face, put your paddle out like
Donatello in the Ninja Turtles (he was the one with a fighting stick!). When
you’re under water, cover your head and keep your chin tucked into your chest
and push up with your free arm until you’re sure the coast is clear. I’m sure
you’ve heard all of these safety tips, but it doesn’t hurt to hear them again.
However, eventually, you may still get smacked. It’s OK. Know when to use
butterfly bandages and when to go get stitches. Paddle and surf with a buddy
that knows when to tell you that you need stitches and won’t let you put a
band-aid on something huge. Know the signs of concussion. Don’t forget, always
surf with a buddy!
